mood	|	distressed
	music	|	marilyn manson - great big white world

i lost one of my pet rats today

i hope she's in a better place now.

love you willow x

	mood	|	cold
	music	|	marilyn manson - coma black

this may sound a little bad however, could you please re-introduce yourself to me.

it has been quite some time since i used livejournal properly and this is a negative in itself.

my memory isn't as good as it used to be, what with the ravages of time and old-age!

x

	mood	|	gloomy
	music	|	marilyn manson - posthuman

so i totally forgot about livejournal
should i wake it from the dead?

x

	mood	|	hopeful
	music	|	home alone music

i love home alone
i come home from work and martin is watching it on the sofa.

yes, i am talking about the film with macualay culkin.

"are you here all by yourself"
"mam, im eight years old. do you really think id be out shopping alone? i dont think so"
"well, where's you mum?"
"she's in the car?"
"your dad?"
"he's at work"
"brothers and sisters?"
"im an only child"
"where do you live?"
"i cant tell you that?"
"why not?"
"coz you're a stranger"


ANYONE ELSE LOVE HOME ALONE?

anybody actually remember me on this thing?

	mood	|	ill
	music	|	regina spektor - better

i love the charlotte church show

	mood	|	exhausted
	music	|	metric - glass ceiling

i must apologise for not being online in forever.
i've been working / drinking / shopping and it hasn't left much time for anything else.

so if i haven't spoken to you for a while [or you just want to talk to me], leave me a comment and i'll definately get back to you :)

	mood	|	happy
	music	|	the birthday massacre - promise me

so, for the first time in a couple of years, i have new hair
martin cut it for me

( see my new hair )

&last night, i finally got to see the birthday massacre after five years of waiting.

their setlist was as follows:

black
red
the nightloop
prologue
lovers end
play dead
horror show
promise me
violet
queen of hearts
to die for
blue
kill the lights
holiday
broken

encore:
happy birthday
video kid

they were so orgasmic
<3

	mood	|	confused
	music	|	yeah yeah yeahs - gold lion

how the hell is it that heterosexual people manage to have perfectly tuned gaydar
and yet, i don't have it?

unless he's serving me a drink in a leather thong and a dog collar i seriously cannot tell.

thoughts?
[basically, you're all fags XP]

in other news, i could not be happier right now
XD

	mood	|	ecstatic
	music	|	scarling. - staring to the sun

today is my 20th birthday
love me <3

	mood	|	lonely
	music	|	beyonce - crazy in love

i know what you're thinking.
why does he have a paid account on livejournal and barely use his livejournal?
simple answer: no-one seems to read my entries anymore - even if they are far and few between: and i don't really want to update JUST to moan: ironic as that seems at this current time.

so, i'm up for promotion at work. that should be good: as long as i get the job as i really want it.
i don't think dressing provocatively will help me in this instance but i could give it a go.

i went to see placebo in birmingham last sunday with the twin, kirsty &immy who i met there.
quite disappointed - not the same placebo i saw three years ago: the only positive change was brian's lack of mullet &the entrance of "running up that hill" into the setlist.

i'm so alone.
it's unbelievable :(

	mood	|	ecstatic
	music	|	amusement parks on fire - wiper

looks set to be the best fucking birthday of my life:

scarling. with amusement parks on fire <3

03.05 : BIRMINGHAM BARFLY
04.05 : SHEFFIELD FEZZ CLUB
05.05 : MY 20TH BIRTHDAY
06.05 : NOTTINGHAM RESCUE ROOMS
07.05 : NORWICH WATERFRONT
08.05 : MANCHESTER ACADEMY 3
10.05 : GLASGOW BARFLY
11.05 : NEWCASTLE GLOBAL
12.05 : LEEDS JOSEPHS WELL
16.05 : LONDON ULU

i dont think 9/12 gigs is bad <3
god i love my life.

	mood	|	horny
	music	|	amusement parks on fire - venus in cancer

i haven't updated in far too long.
you'd think with not updating i'd have gotten a life of some degree:
alas - it's not happened.
i had a contract increase at work so i've been to tired to write up a livejournal entry consisting of "i'm too tired to write up a proper livejournal entry as i've had a contract increase at work"

i have however, recently bought a sexy new top from john galliano when i was in manchester.
lucky charms were also bought: because let's face it - what's breakfast time without them? a damn disappointment!

( images )

scarling. will be back in the uk in early may [and over my birthday]
: with a new single.
i've just been sent all the dates &it looks like i'll be over-joyed with no money again :D

MY BIRTHDAY

> is on the fifth of may - it's easy to remember : 05/05.
i would like

1. a boyfriend
2. cocaine
3. clothing from alexander mcqueen
4. lucky charms
5. home-made cards
6. tru calling dvd boxset
7. an iBook
8. vivienne westwood shades
9. a fifty pound mac voucher
10. a surprise

so get working on it ;)
p.s. how is everyone ?

	mood	|	alone
	music	|	the cardigans - erase/rewind

I'M
GOING
TO
SEE
THE CARDIGANS

i think i might piss myself <3
also, i think i have a date :/
i don't know.
valentines day is tomorrow &i might kill myself because of it
so just in case i don't ever update again: goodbye.

[p.s. i will update again as i just re-paid for my journal but i want some "being alone on valentines day - suicide guilt sympathy" - so hop to it]

just to show you how alone i am:
i recently watched the first series of desperate housewives in its completion - in about four days. yeah.

( upcoming hoot-a-nannies )

	mood	|	sad
	music	|	scarling. - so long, scarecrow

right now.
i'm just not happy.
the worst feeling is lonliness.
it's not the worst thing that can happen to you,
but it really grinds you down.
i got my hair cut.
( behind the cut )

	mood	|	worried
	music	|	placebo - space monkey

i think i like him more than he likes me
next friday could be so good
or heartbreaking

i don't know.
at least i'm getting my hair cut tomorrow

	mood	|	peaceful
	music	|	27 - louder than words

my new icon is of me.
i've never had a "me" icon on livejournal before.
loves it.

	mood	|	bouncy
	music	|	curve - coast is clear

audrey hepburn is 100x
hotter than marilyn monroe.



also: happy birthday to steve <3

	mood	|	lonely
	music	|	portishead - glorybox

my life is a mess.
&i'm lonely.
i need a boy.

p.s. for the first time in ages i changed my userinfo

	mood	|	sad
	music	|	scarling. - so long, scarecrow [part two]

&you said "oh, christ: hang up the phone"
&you said "oh, i guess i've always known ?"
&i said "oh, never leave me alone - this record broke on it's own"

this record breaks on it's own.
happy new year, cunts <3

p.s. the opticians put dye in my eye this morning.
beats a shot of cum from a homeless man anyday, right ?

	mood	|	enthralled
	music	|	a perfect circle - orestes

so today i worked from 7:30-6:30: nice huh ?
but i got THIS as my christmas present from work.

i am so cool.

	mood	|	pissed off
	music	|	girls aloud - swinging london town

i want you dead.
seriously.

	mood	|	pleased
	music	|	scarling. - broken record

( scarling. tour write-up &photos )

	mood	|	proud
	music	|	ladytron - last one standing

zero. me &rachel went to birmingham to see sigur ros again. it was absolutely fantastic: + the train journey made me pee myself <3

one. i went to manchester at the weekend to see philip &jilly. it was such a fun weekend. we were all absolutely trashed [no shock there] &philip put blond extensions in my hair to make me 100% fag. [see photos]

two. i had an interview at work yesterday for the installation co-worker job.

three. i got the job

four. send me gifts

five. ( photos )

	mood	|	tired
	music	|	amina - skakka

i was only fifty minutes late for work today.
ha.
&last night i danced with a laydee.
it was weird

( le image-ique )

	mood	|	drunk
	music	|	eurythmics - who's that girl ?

( photos plz )

	mood	|	indescribable
	music	|	scarling. - baby dracula

"you betrayed a person that bleeds but won't die"

scarling.
nottingham.
the social.
december fourth.
life gets better.

	mood	|	bored
	music	|	scarling. - we are the music makers

i got my hair cut
photos coming soon
i bought new underwear
photos not coming soon
i bought a new top
i met liam &had martinis
that was fun.
i miss rachel
&have no money for xmas

	mood	|	ecstatic
	music	|	scarling. - art of pretension

scarling.
london
the metro
seven-thirty pm
december seventh
seven pounds

i got my tickets this morning
now i want to cry <3

	mood	|	energetic
	music	|	scarling. - broken record

recent gigs

goldfrapp [manchester]: good if not a little disappointing. the singles held up but alison has no stage presence &she looks like a cabbage patch kid. the only real thing stopping them from getting out the "good live" level and into the "excellent" one was the fact that i felt like i could have just been listening to the cd at home &when you pay £15 for a ticket you expect a little more for your money

the engineers [nottingham]: very good :D the singer was really adorable and rachel made me wet myself about fourty times. the songs hold up really well &they put on a dramatic live show. definately better in a venue like the rescue rooms.

bloc party [nottingham]: it was either the alcohol or their on stage energy or a mix of the two that made this gig as enjoyable as it was. production definately play around with what the vocalist pushes out but still, i wasn't bored for one second of the gig.

this update was brought to you sponsered by a bout of good sleep &a cascade martini.
also, december is going to be the best month ever ;)